Confessions of an Astrologer

“If an astrologer does not recommend a gemstone the client does not feel secure. Many astrologers have tie-ups with jewellers”

People come to me with three fundamental problem categories—money, relationships and career. The Hindu panchang (astrological calendar) has simply everything. But since doctors do not look at clocks when delivering a child, they round off the time of birth. No one really has their right time of birth. So an astrologer’s predictions will not be 100 per cent true.

These days everyone believes in gemstones. If an astrologer does not recommend a gemstone the client does not feel secure. Many astrologers have tie-ups with jewellers. We tell them a particular jeweller has ‘pure cut’ stones. I get a percentage from this jeweller for every client I send.

If you charge the client a small sum, they will have no respect for your talent. I charge about Rs 1,000 for a 15-minute consultancy. I know that no solution will be arrived at in that time. So, I extend the session by another 15 minutes and charge them another thousand.

I do not extend a session beyond 30 minutes. The importance of an astrologer depends on how busy he is. It is an Indian tendency to be impressed when a busy person makes time for them. I also don’t give solutions immediately, they have to wait for two to three days.

The positions of the stars are continuously changing, so one has to consult the astrologer often. You cannot depend on one reading to last you forever. Astrologers never reveal everything in one shot. How would we get a steady flow of clients otherwise? So I give them a solution to only one problem at a time.

Men are more hooked to astrologers than women. They also want quick solutions so they will keep visiting. Women are more practical. They are willing to wait for results but they ask too many questions. It is easier to deal with women. You tell them to go south or north, they will do so. Not a man. Unless you tell him what is there at the end of that road, a man will not move.

Men believe in the active participation of their wives when told to do something to redeem them from their bad patch. If you tell a man to observe a fast on any day, he will make his wife do it. She will fast while the husband will eat, drink and be merry.

(This 60-year-old Pune-based man has been an astrologer for 35 years) 

As told to Haima Deshpande

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