‘Just because I’m bindass doesn’t mean I sleep around’ goes an ad campaign for Bindass TV. Its part of a well-executed campaign targeting the youth by speaking their language. Good for them. But why sleeping around must be spoken of in the same vein as drugs, atheism, farting in public and laziness beats me. Does sleeping around imply promiscuity or pre-marital sex? Giving this college kid in the ad the benefit of doubt, assuming she isn’t referring to pre-marital sex (though I suspect most people reading do), promiscuous women aren’t known to have higher chances of being terrorists, schizophrenic, heartless or broke. Last I checked, our population disaster wasn’t attributed to urban sluts. So I don’t see why they must be targeted on bus ads like this. Especially by a channel that produces a show like Emotional Atyachar. Just because I’m bindaas doesn’t meant I want to test my partner with hidden cameras either. Breaching trust in your relationship, trapping him on primetime television is as horrible as cheating on your partner, I’d think.
The backstory of this print ad lies in the TV ad, where the college kid is dancing rather sensuously i.e. feeling herself up in a nightclub, while a letchy guy checks her out. Cliché. More perverts harass you on Mumbai locals than nightclubs. It annoys me to see how an ad that is otherwise sophisticated and unconventional melts into cliché. Even Bollywood has discarded these clichés for sexually proactive heroines, without portraying them as morally depraved.
I studied in a convent school. I went to a college where the ratio of females to males was 8 to 2, of which one would’ve been gay. As a result, most of my close friends were hormonally charged girls, who went from obsessing over boy bands and cricketers to frantically searching for a touch-and-feel boyfriend, settling for any chump who came along. There came a point when emancipation simply meant ‘wake up and smell the coffee’. The boy you chased for months was either not interested or worth it. In order to assert yourself, you had to move on, date as many people as you could to regain your self-esteem. Losing self-respect seemed like a good way of finding it.
All of them turned out fine. None of them is a junkie or STD affected or even repentant. They’re young ladies that the college kid in the ad would aspire to grow into. Many are on the verge of settling down. Which is when double standards pop up in all colours of the rainbow.
Firstly there is the myth of a soul mate and the perfect love story. In this, the boy and girl roam around like lost souls, twiddling their thumbs till they come across each other and find happiness. Marriage is a sign of that happiness. A wedding is a celebration of that happiness. It’s unfortunate how one’s past, love and lust included, get totally whitewashed, when probably each of those encounters brought you a step closer to where you stand today.
I just finished reading the Kannada classic Samskara by UR Ananthamurthy. It’s about an earnest, learned, virginal Brahmin who is forced to question his worldview after tasting good ol’ Kama in a dark forest. Experience, he realises, is a neutral term. It is we who paint it in black and white.
It’s sad that all sexual experiences are seen as promiscuity, and that promiscuity has a gender. Slut has a gender. Think about it, what do you call the male equivalent of a slut? Playboy? Ladykiller? Lover boy? Womaniser? None of them comes close.
For some reason, we seem prepared to accept women as sexually active, but sexually proactive? Pleasure seeking? Nah, that’s where our liberalism ends. There’s something worse than sex, which is to actively seek it.
P.S. There is also another ad where the image of a bearded guy comes with the line ‘Just because I’m bindass doesn’t mean I sleep with guys’. I wont bother with that one. Surely some day the change in Indian laws will breed greater acceptance of homosexuality in the country. Once again, being gay isn’t the same as farting in public.
OLDER COMMENTS FIRST
31 COMMENTS
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Haha...."Losing self-respect seemed like a good way of finding it." brilliant!
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thanks doops! finally!
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Contrary to what the ad connotes, I think "bindaas" which means "anything goes" does imply promiscuity. It's like saying - Just because I'm gay doesn't mean I have sex with men or Just because I'm vegetarian doesn't mean I don't eat meat. Bindaas by definition means freewheeling, carefree, happy go lucky, slaphappy, devil may care and laid back.
But my point is: why state the obvious? What's the point? Who cares if a chick or a lad is promiscuous or not. It's their own life, everyone else can bugger off. Besides, what a waste of ad space. I'd rather check out hot bikini-clad splitsvilla chicks than waste my eyesight on ads that only state the obvious.
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The fact that this advert seems to think it is breaking stereotypes while it reinforces them, speaks of how oblivious we are of our stupidity.
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Nobody says going to pubs and hanging out with guys mean sleeping around.But lot of models,air hostesses,gold digger actresses etc and the large number of prostitutes and nymphomaniacs have chosen this route.The above people have made women who aspire to this life see their success and take courage to plunge in it.It's like not all
Muslims are terrorists,but most terrorists are muslims say 70%.Lot of molestations and rapes happening to women are not punished and premarital sex is on the increase.Teenage pregnancies,unwed mothers,abortion pills,abortions etc on the rise
be extremely careful when alone for some men are molestersand rapists and guys who just lust for you and not love you genuinely.All this info is known to Women,but among 3 billion women crimes committed is very very less so if you are capable you can be a Tina Munim.
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Which college did you go to? Am too old for it, but mebbe my sons can try - if they dont go for the recently legalized way of loving.
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clearly not old enough to spell 'maybe' the right way. don't worry about your sons, we all find ways.
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Now that's what i would call a bindaas article :)
Lovely write up though don't quite agree on couple of things but then everyone is free to have their standpoint.
And, yes "we all find ways"
Cheerz
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thanks Shridhar. :-)
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well wrtten and well considered! Indeed we as a society are yet to get off away from cliches.I would wish to point out that the add is actually a melange that is trying to address the anxieties of the middle aged viewers by taking on a socially responsible route and have in the process confused a message intended solely for the young..the perils of "inclusivity"?
cheers
shirish
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The problem I suppose lies in the fact that with an attempt to kill certain stereotypes, these ads reinforce more. It's funny, if one were to think about it, that the world in general, and India in particular, is going through what one may call stagnation of thought and debate.
We think we're liberalised, and then we stop thinking.
Very, very well written. Thought-provoking deserves credit.
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come to think of it, its true Akanksha. we are actually stagnating in thought and debate. i cant think of the last time i read something thought provoking.
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I keep coming back to this blog to see if there's any updates bt :(
Can you please write more often? please? :)
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I second Sridhar's comments. :)
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I give up. Sorry, bt u lost a fan :(
Don't think will come back again!!!!
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Shubhangi, way to go girl!
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In defence of sluts LOL good title :)
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>"what do you call the male equivalent of a slut?"
roué
rakehell | rake
FTFY.
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Hmm...
1) Even if you d on't do drugs if you have that hairstyle as a doc you will scare away many patients, every profession has a dress code and ethics learn it...
2) There is no such thing as God, educate yourself ...
3) Even if you are available I don't think dancing in skimpy clothes in a club would give you any other response from desperate guys...
4) Seriously advertising is a career ?
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I think it's a silly ad. But in its defense - the female voice at the nightclub says "Just because I am bindass doesn't mean I am available." Now that is a sentiment that I do subscribe to, as a "bindass" (god, whatever that means) woman who does not condemn pre-marital sex whatsoever. Further, the hands on this woman's body could just as readily represent those of the guy who ends up with a black eye. I like your points you raise in your blog, Shubhangi, but I think you could be a little more precise? I agree with your point that there is a lot of harassment to be faced by women on the Local, but that does not mean that dancing in a nightclub is without its perils...
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alright, shamefaced - went to the blog to see th print ad. I know what you are talking about now. But some of my points remain salient...
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The problem is not confined to this ad alone, the crux of the problems and complications surrounding sexual choices in India lies in the psyche of its general male populace, which intrinsically consiers sexually proactive women "public property". A grope here, a pinch there, its all good for our sexually repressed men, age no bar, both for the predator as well as for the prey.
Some boyfriends do discourage their girlfirends from displaying their affection publicly, not because it is in conflict with their personal beliefs but simply because 50,00 other men who witness such an assertion of personal freedom would assume the girl'd be ready to jump into bed with THEM too.. therein lies the problem. So fundamental and unfortunately reinforced by others among our sisterhood viz mothers, sisters and maternal figures.
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Hey Silpa,
I didn't get what points would recquire greater clarity. could u pls ellaborate a bit? and maybe i can give explanations a shot.
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very true Veena. I too would endorse some of the fundamentally conflicted choices u speak of. I wouldn't be physically intimate on India's streets. the really sad part is, all you need to do is wear a Tshirt and jeans to be considered a loose character. actually, not even that. groping/eve teasing isn't blinded by class and community barriers. its a "have opportunity, will grope" philosophy. i dont know where the balance lies- with all the compromising in clothes, atitudes, choices to avoid sexual harassment, we might just not recognize ourselves anymore.
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thanks for your prompt response shubhangi... need more writers like you out there.. and maybe a n awareness movement that addresses the non-english speaking population too. cheers.
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I WANA GO TO YOUR SCHOOL!
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Define bindaas ? I think we all are bindaas....person needs no certificate to see his bindaasness.....he does what he thinks is right according to his beliefs and his surroundings...........
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I suppose the freedom to sleep around holds for the guys also? And you would agree the media and Tiger Woods' wife were rather hard on the poor chap, and that the judges were patently unfair when they made him pay a hefty amount to his wife?
Does this freedom exists only till holy matrimony or does it go all the way?
If it does go all the way, I suppose we are talking of an 'Open' marriage, right?
You know, this entire idea of sexual freedom, its-my-choice logic, is rather worn out. There is a reason why the hippie culture, which embodied it all, died out. There is a reason why our Bollywood bombshells, whatever they may do on the screen, retreat into demure marriages once their 15 min under the arc lights are up.
And no, a change in homosexual laws will not make the people more tolerant, it will only make the BJP more powerful.
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"You know, this entire idea of sexual freedom, its-my-choice logic, is rather worn out. There is a reason why the hippie culture, which embodied it all, died out. "
Uhuh, and what is that reason?
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One of the best posts I have read recently. Good for you!
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I'd love to go to your school as well!! But come on everybody has known about this double standard for eons and there is nothing new in your argument. Heard it all before but nothing is about to change. If you don't realise that then you're not BINDASS!!!
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