I woke up with a start, blaming it on a bad piece of chicken, when the newspapers confirmed it wasn’t indigestion but a premonition. Men or at least sex, screamed the headline, would soon be redundant. British scientists have figured out a way to make sperm cells out of stem cells and the technology could come into practice as early as five years, the journalist (a woman no doubt) wrote with undisguised zeal.

It’s entirely possible secret societies exist funding such research and they would do so standing over a pyre of burning bras, wearing hooded robes and holding pitchforks, vowing to not shave their legs till Earth had been ridden of the last of the men.

This study isn’t the only one. Australian Genetics Professor Jennifer Graves has spent a good part of her career hammering out an obituary of manhood. She has predicted that the Y chromosome, which is responsible for maleness, the formation of the sperm and the testes and the patience to lose every argument, would be gone, kaput, in five million years. Adding insult to injury, she insists that if the male of the species must live on, they must do so like voles (rats) of Europe and France—as men, but without the chromosome that make them the men they are.

As the Y chromosome is threatened, a larger question needs asked—do we really deserve it? Isn’t this just another link in the chain of wrongs men have endured, ever since women had us kicked out of paradise? True, feminists blame us for inventing the heel because of what it made their derrieres look like, but it was a woman who came up with the Barbie doll – that most unreasonable form of beauty ever. So what exactly are we being avenged against?

On behalf of my kinsfolk, I’d also like to protest the blatant disregard for Y’s contributions to evolution. Lest we forget, it started losing genes when it became man enough and took on the added responsibility of determining sexes, unlike the X chromosome.

Moreover, if we men are gone, I give women a maximum of two years. Can you imagine the anarchy if there are no men to blame for recession, nuclear wars, the toilet leaking or the daal burning. Now, don’t get me wrong, I am a male chauvinist—I open the door for a woman and wait for her to pass first. And I don’t think there is anything wrong with a lady’s finger on the nuclear button. I just can’t take the absolute apathy shown towards us men—no NGOs working for the Y chromosome, no Save the Y movement and no Hollywood actresses posing naked for our cause. If we really have to be walking off into the sunset, shouldn’t there be at least a word of gratitude following us?

The workshops and brochures of malaria awareness projects are not the kind of stuff children look forward to. But Shillong-based Chillibreeze Solutions Pvt Ltd, a content and design service provider, is looking to change that. The company has published India’s first health comic, A Tale of Two Magic Potions. Dr Nishi Viswanathan, director, Chillibreeze, says they are also planning quizzes and contests. The comic will be translated into various Indian languages and distributed free in state-run schools across India.

Umpires are not worried about being hit by a cricket ball, even if one of their ilk, Alcwyn Jenkins of the UK, recently died after being struck by a fielder’s throw in a first class match. They are not contemplating wearing helmets.

“I have not even given it a thought,” says Suresh Shastri, who is on the International Cricket Council’s International Panel of umpires. “The umpire in question was 72.” When reminded of a shot by MS Dhoni that almost crashed into the umpire’s head, Shastri said, “Injuries can happen, either by the stroke or a deflection off the bowler’s hand. But if your reflexes are sharp, you will be okay.

It was to be a boat where you could lodge your concerns about climate change, but climate change got to it first. On 8 July, following heavy rain, Greenpeace, Mumbai, had to cancel the launch of Climate Rescue Station, a 30-foot life raft, where people could lodge concerns about climate change. Mumbai is listed among the mega cities most vulnerable to climate change by a recent World Bank report.

The city is battling sea level rise, tidal surges and flooding from intense spells of rain.

Says Vinuta Gopal of Greenpeace, “When we began our campaign in June by transporting a boat across Mumbai’s low-lying areas, everyone was wondering where the monsoon was. Now, that the rain has arrived, there is much greater interest in climate change.”

Greenpeace will also be donating two inflatable rescue boats to the BMC and train them for high tide rescues on Juhu beach.

Here is a first. A bus for the blind, and Vaibhav Durga, a 22-year-old masters student at Delhi University (DU) tried it out recently. As the bus approached a stand, the gadget in his hand—a user-module—alerted him about the route number and destination of the bus. When it halted at the stop, the audio system on the bus instructed him to board. Two years in the making, the Bus Identification and Homing System for the Visually Challenged has been developed by IIT Delhi’s Department of Computer Science and Engineering. Last week, DU started a trial run that is expected to last three to four months, after which the service could be scaled up. The bus, owned and managed by DU, will ply inside North Campus every half hour. The bus also has a hydraulic ramp to enable wheelchair users to board the bus independently. According to the team at IIT that worked on the project, Delhi Transport Corporation has given them permission to run trials on their buses as well.