09-15 Apr, 2013
small world
Crass
India’s Most Foul Mouthed Chief Whip

KOCHI ~ The chief whip of any legislative assembly is only busy when there is voting in the House. The rest of the days, he or she remains jobless to the best of our information. But not so the Kerala Government chief whip PC George, whose leisure time is devoted to showering expletives on political opponents. A recent target was KR Gouriyamma, a former Communist stalwart who has now allied her Janadhipathya Samrakshana Samiti party with the ruling Congress-led UDF. George, an elected member of Kerala Congress (Mani), is also part of the UDF. In an ‘off the record’ interview to a TV channel, he called Gouriyamma a ‘whore’ at the age of 90. He also said that TV Thomas, her late former husband and a member of the first Communist ministry, was an immoral man who fathered many illegitimate children.

Earlier, he had called KB Ganesh Kumar and his father R Balakrishna Pillai, both former ministers, ‘scoundrels’. Friends once, their fallout happened after Ganesh got involved in a nasty domestic dispute. George went to Chief Minister Oommen Chandy alleging that Ganesh had an extramarital affair and used to torture his lover. George even leaked this to the media. He turned it into a hot debate, culminating in Ganesh quitting this week. His abuse of Gouriyamma happened because she said George himself was no saint and had borne a baby of an illicit relationship and she had mediated in 1980 to save him from shame.

Last year, too, at a public meeting, George made derogatory caste references against CPM leader AK Balan, a Dalit. He is also known for using indecent language with female news anchors. Each time it becomes a public issue, George expresses regret.

Senior politicians in the UDF have complained about him but the CM has refused to do anything.

“He enjoys the status of a minister, and see what he does. People like him must be expelled from politics,” says VS Sunil Kumar, a CPI MLA who made a symbolic protest against George by showing him sandals in the Assembly.

Take Two
Where Will the Water Go?

Politics has a similar structure to business if you consider that the product or service on offer is the politician himself. There are entrepreneurs constantly on the lookout to establish their market. There are mid-level regional set-ups vying for a national presence. There are pan-national corporations. And there are businesses that come on a platter because someone was born to it. Vinod Tawde, leader of the BJP in Maharashtra, is in the middle zone.

That is an uncertain place to be in because you can go both up or down. Creative marketing is required to sustain and build your brand. One of the ways to do that is to piggyback on another brand using a weapon that businesses don’t have but politicians have in ample measure—nuisance value. This is one explanation for the letter that Tawde sent recently to Rajiv Shukla, chairman of the Indian Premier League, asking for no matches to be held in drought-stricken Maharashtra because of the enormous amount of water that would be used. It is actually a decently argued case. He says that 60,000 litres of water is required to water one stadium for one day. And multiplying the number of stadiums in Maharashtra by the number of matches, he arrives at a figure of 6.48 million litres of water used.

Shukla’s response has been that it is a publicity stunt. That is obviously true. Like all good businessmen, Tawde has seen a successful model in Tamil Nadu Chief Minister J Jayalalithaa forcing a ban on Sri Lankan IPL players in her home state. He just had to tweak it for Maharashtra. It is not a wrong thing to do. It is an established principle that motivation is irrelevant if what is said has merit on its own. Those who speak for the IPL also make the counter-argument that those stadiums would need to be watered anyway for maintenance and so water is not actually conserved if no matches are held. That doesn’t make too much sense. If there is merit in not using water for the IPL, then there is merit in stopping the maintenance of stadiums entirely till the monsoon, when the drought comes under control. The principle is the same.

Then there is the interesting phenomenon of how we, the literate English-speaking middle-class, reacted when the exact same logic was applied to Asaram Bapu’s use of water in Holi celebration. There was anger and contempt at such profligacy, helped by television images of streams of water being sprinkled onto a joyous crowd. When it comes to cricket, that same constituency begins to nitpick. There is only one explanation for it: sympathies and sensitivities come after self-interest. To a farmer in Marathwada, the worst hit region, there is no quantitative difference between what Asaram and the IPL do with water. The urban elite of Mumbai finds nuances because they like the IPL and don’t like Asaram.

But Tawde’s stand still has its problems. For instance, the question of what will happen to the 6.48 million litres of water if it is not used for the IPL. Will it change direction and head to Marathwada? The answer is no because the drought itself is also a result of faulty distribution. Maharashtra is currently reeling under a corruption scandal in which thousands of crore allotted for irrigation projects have disappeared without any trace of the canals. A poor monsoon can lead to a drought but it is not the only thing that causes it. It is as much a man-made phenomenon. As the environmental activist Vandana Shiva pointed out in a Times of India interview, over the last 40 years, the area in Maharashtra under sugarcane cultivation has gone up by 10 times. Sugarcane is an insatiably thirsty crop which needs far more water than the rains in that region provide. It is also a politically powerful crop because Maharashtra is ruled by sugar barons. Two state leaders in the BJP—Gopinath Munde and Nitin Gadkari—have many sugar cooperatives under their control. An easy way of controlling drought in Maharashtra is to replace sugarcane with crops that don’t need so much rain-fed water. But that is not something that you will see Tawde writing a letter about.

HASH-GAGS
Bilawal Jokes

Bilawal Bhutto Zardari, son of the late former Prime Minister of Pakistan, Benazir Bhutto, and President Asif Ali Zardari, made international news last week when he flew to Dubai after a tiff with his father over affairs of the Pakistan Peoples Party (PPP), of which he is currently chairman. An incident of such gravity should be no laughing matter, but try telling that to the Twitterati. Twitter was abuzz with Bilawal-Zardari jokes all week. One tweet read ‘I recall when I had an argument with my dad, I went to my room. Bilawal went to Dubai. #PPP’. Another said, ‘Addi had big fight with billu bilawal & little fellow got upset and ran away. Papa is trying his best to calm him down #BreakingNews #MQM’. Some even got creative with tweets like ‘bilawal & zardari couldn’t decide who’ll marry hina rabbani. #bilawal got annoyed & went to dubai’ and one from an account created under Zardari’s name reads, ‘OK #Bilawal dear if you are reading this, come back to papa. I will take you to DisneyLand after elections. Ok jannu?’