Barf Bags for Free

That’s what newspapers must start giving as supplements, looking at the state of our country’s politics today.

Has our political environment ever been in such a shamelessly cynical state as it is now? The news on the front pages of the papers everyday would make you puke.

It started some time back, with Andhra Chief Minister YS Rajasekhara Reddy’s death in a helicopter crash. Overnight, he became some sort of demigod. Suicides soared as people appeared to have given up all hope, now that their beloved YSR was no more. Scant attention was paid to the fact that YSR’s son, Jagan Mohan Reddy, who suddenly became a nationally recognised figure, had amassed a fortune worth thousands of crore, while still in his early 30s. Later came reports—true or false one does not know—that in the days following YSR’s death, whenever there was a suicide in Andhra, money was paid to the family to claim that the victim could not handle the prospect of the agony of life without YSR. If this is true, our politicians seem to have lost the last vestiges of humanity.

Parliamentary democracy, as we know it, has never made much headway in Jharkhand. From top politicians being convicted for murder, and public horse-trading for power and its trappings, to partisan governors who refuse to resign even when asked by the Centre, Ranchi is an exciting place for an amoral politician. I say Ranchi because the government of Jharkhand hardly extends beyond the state’s capital. Maoists control the rest. Now we have the case of Mr Madhu Koda, who went from being a labourer to a billionaire within a span of two decades. Naturally, in the glorious tradition of the Indian corrupt, he dutifully checked himself into a hospital complaining of chest pains the moment corruption charges were made.

Given that it is one of the more prosperous states in the country, the venality and incompetence of Maharashtra politics never ceases to amaze. A Chief Minister who hung around impotently during the 60 hours of the 26/11 attacks, and who had a film director as his guest when he entered the liberated Taj, is rewarded with a Cabinet post at the Centre. It takes more than two weeks after the state election results are out for allies to come to an agreement about Cabinet formation. And what a Cabinet! RR Patil, the state’s former home minister, who was sacked after dismissing 26/11 with “in such a large city the odd tragedy will occur”, is back as home minister! And disgraced former Union Home Minister Shivraj Patil, again sacked after 26/11, welcomes the appointment, calling (the other) Patil “enthusiastic”! Chhagan Bhujbal, widely held responsible for ruining the Mumbai Police, is back as Deputy CM! On the first day of the Assembly session, MNS thugs, who also happen to be MLAs, disrupt the proceedings because someone wants to take his oath in Hindi.

Don’t our politicians have any shame?

Okay, that was a rhetorical question. 

In Karnataka, some super-rich goons called the Reddy brothers hold the state government to ransom, and even the central BJP high command is helpless. To cling on to power at the cost of losing all face, the BJP accepts the Reddys’ demands and the Chief Minister’s closest aide is forced to resign. The Chief Minister then makes a spectacle of himself by breaking into tears in front of TV cameras.

In Delhi, Manu Sharma, convicted murderer of Jessica Lall, is given parole on the grounds that his “ageing” mother is sick. It is later found that Manu’s mother is in her early 50s, hardly ‘ageing’ by today’s standards, and quite hale and hearty, thank you, having vigorously campaigned for her husband during the Haryana Assembly polls last month. On the day Manu was released, she was addressing an NGO fund-raising event in Chandigarh. Meanwhile, Manu has been spotted living it up in Delhi’s nightclubs, not presenting a very convincing portrayal of a son worried sick about his mother. Delhi’s Chief Minister defends the parole decision by saying there were enough grounds for granting it. Thank the Lord, he’s back in jail again.
In two months’ time, we will be celebrating 60 years of being a republic. Why does the word ‘banana’ come to mind whenever I think of the next Republic Day?

About The Author

Sandipan Deb

Sandipan Deb is an IIT-IIM graduate who wandered into journalism after reading a quote from filmmaker George Lucas — “Everyone cage door is open” — and has stayed there (in journalism, not a cage) for the past 19 years. He has written a book on the IITs.